One regret

You know how you do a survey or a questionnaire and you come to the question, "what's your biggest regret," and the person who filled it out before you almost always says some bullshit like, "I have no regrets because I wouldn't be where I am without every action I've done and every experience I've gone through." That causes you to say the same thing. You are right, you wouldn't be where you are, you'd be in a better place.



Well, here's my one true regret:



I have a set of friends that are closer to me than anyone in the entire world. They are closer to me than my sisters, than my parents, than God at times. Anyone who knows me knows at least three of them because I talk about those fellas and our mischiefs much of the time. Whether it may be flashlight tag with cows in a field past midnight or a video about time travel in the garage. But those who really know me know the 4th.
She's the reason I left fayetteville, the reason I never fell for "maybe you should settle for a mediocre life." She was always the cool cat who was there to pull me out of a jam and offer great wisdom. In another life, she'd be the one. But we all know the one is Zooey Deschanel. Oh buddy.
But our entire life she'd always say "hey you're gunna be in my wedding ok." That was the plan, that was the deal. Always, it's "don't miss my wedding brother." Then she called me saying "I'm getting married in 4 weeks." I told her I wouldn't miss it for the world. Well, I won't bore you with the details but long story short, I missed her wedding.
It tore me up to let her down. It hurt bad leaving her the message and hearing her leave me one earlier saying "it's been too long since we've seen each other, you being there means so much that you have no idea." I couldn't do anything about it and it KILLED me.
But this caused me to stop floating paycheck to paycheck risking large fines and such. This stopped me from planning a month ahead and now I plan months ahead.
So ladies and gents... that's my regret.

I cannot stand still

My mom doesn't know this, or has at least spoken about it. But I have been depressed lately. It not some biological thing that I'd need zannax for or whatever. It's not like I don't know why. I know exactly why. I'm pissed off because I'm in stinking texas while I should be in the big windy city. I miss the city life and even though I was only there for a month, a month is plenty of time to fall in love.
While being depressed won't help my life, I decided to counter this feeling. I decided that I am a man that needs many cultures. Wanting to be a journalist, this goes with the career. I've wondered for a long time about living abroad. Not temporarily. Well, yeah just not coming back. You know how a frenchman comes to live in the states. How many Americans go live in other countries? I dunno, that just excites me.
My plan is to finish my AA here which will be about a year, then go to UNT or Austin and try hard to get into a Californian school or north eastern school for grad school. While I know for grad school it wouldn't be terribly hard to get into, but I need to find a way to pay a full ride. I've learned what happens when you get into college but don't have enough money to pay for college.
But yes, I'm compiling a list of places I want to live in. Not wanting to get married until around 35 or so will help me in that area. I dunno, I just want to complete my life goals like college, gold medal, becoming president of the united states... you know stuff life that.
Plus when it comes to family, I don't want to have to worry about being able to afford it. Plus, at 21 I still have years of maturing and growing up to do. I have no idea what it takes to raise a family and I don't want to fail.

Ince the dawn of time...

There has never been such an exciting and breathtaking presidential election. Never has a black man had such a chance at electing and never before has there been a reason to stop him from it not having to do with the color of his skin.
Frankly, I dislike the man and not only hope he loses the race but drops out of Illinois politics. He will only hurt the state further more. However, this race is dearly exciting. The cons of the media is being greatly displayed and the average person will no longer be such a drone to the media.
For the first time in history the average person will decide their presidential choice without the persuasion of the media. The media will also need great shaping to remain, well, the media. Never has politics been spoken about so rigorously.
My views are as important as the next mans and I believe that we don't even know how incredible the choice and timing of Palin is or will be for quite some time.

So I am going to go on the record now

Here it is, ever since Huckabee was deemed out of the race for presidency, I have been fustrated at politics. This was seeming too much like the 2004 election. I see it as either way, we are screwed and things will on get worse. I'm so fed up with the two party system. If I EVER run for any kind of office at all whether it is the PTA or God of the universe, I will do it as an independant.
This whole time, I was only going to vote McCain because I know a few chief justices are about to retire and I'd much rather have prolife chief justices than pro choice.

But then, it came time for the VP choices. Obama chose Liden who has been sitting idly by for a long time now. He has years, not experience. Anyways, then McCain announced Palin. Sarah Palin. While I had no idea who she is, I looked anything and everything I could find on the woman.
Then it dawned on me: she doesn't need to be in the white house, we need her to be in the white house. We need her right now. Someone who is more than talk, someone who will give you change before they tell you they will. Someone who will not buy into dirty politics like Obama has in Chicago.
We need our streets cleaned and our economy stronger. She is our hope, and her being a woman makes this so much better. A woman doing this, man I hope she becomes president some day.

Oh poor me...

"Oh that I am a soldier
Everybody must and will be a soldier

I, poor creature, worn out with scibbling for my bread and my liberty, low in spirits and weak in health, must leave others to wear the laurels."

-John Adams

to my dearest friend

I will never forget this time we had together,
you were a great companion.
too bad you never know that I was coming back
for you
little do we know that I am coming back for more
than Eden.

one question....

Ok, so I've been a fan of super chick for so long that I remember seeing them live before they ever got famous. I mean, way back in 2000. Back before they ever had a hit single or before they made a music video or Sony ever knew who they were.
But then this last song, "HOLD" was so incredibly beasty. It was so incredible. I dunno, they change their style so many times in a single cd that you can't say what their style is. But man, that song was a HUGE step into mainstream rock. Which is cool.
-jeff