Oh poor me...

"Oh that I am a soldier
Everybody must and will be a soldier

I, poor creature, worn out with scibbling for my bread and my liberty, low in spirits and weak in health, must leave others to wear the laurels."

-John Adams

to my dearest friend

I will never forget this time we had together,
you were a great companion.
too bad you never know that I was coming back
for you
little do we know that I am coming back for more
than Eden.

one question....

Ok, so I've been a fan of super chick for so long that I remember seeing them live before they ever got famous. I mean, way back in 2000. Back before they ever had a hit single or before they made a music video or Sony ever knew who they were.
But then this last song, "HOLD" was so incredibly beasty. It was so incredible. I dunno, they change their style so many times in a single cd that you can't say what their style is. But man, that song was a HUGE step into mainstream rock. Which is cool.
-jeff

Trip to the audiology office

So I journeyed to this office in the hot sun and did I mention the heat? Haha, it was a very texan heat. I did get lost. I journeyed to the office and did a hearing test. My results were very similar to the hearing at meps, well if you average it all out. I felt confident this was accurate because she used 3 different tones. I did pretty ok with the low bass tone and the sound that makes "ooo" sound. It's the high pitch where I lose it in the middle. Then she did a hearing test where the computer says words at where my hearing suppose to be. I did pretty bad at that and told her it was too loud and my brain kind of scrambles the sound trying to keep from it. That test caused a headache that I felt coming due to dehydration. I'm bad at not drinking water unless I work out. So when it's just hot and I hadn't eaten during that day... I won't drink. Which sucks.
Her last test was a organ test. This one is a vibration test. She seriously though I would do better on this due to having tinitus means it wouldnt block out these sounds. I score about the same on this test. Maybe it was my hair, maybe I'm just special.
I told her it has to be genetic. My oldest sister has some hearing loss, and my father's hearing is worse than mine. I showed her my hearing aids and etc. I told her that I came because the army told me to seek an evaluation from a civilian audiologist to request a waiver.
She was professional about it and told me she won't say yes or no until finds out what my job will have to deal with hearing wise. Will I be able to wear hearing aids and etc. So I had her call my recruiter and from then on it is out of my hands. After my recruiter talked to her, he told me he could get me in by wednesday but I don't know. I think the most important thing would have to be is to get in period even if the waiver takes 2 months.
I've spent more time with the recruiters than my own mother here in Texas. Then I ship out Thursday? Which means I will only have a few days left with my mom before it's off to the army I go? I won't be able to see my cousin get married and find out how it is that my cousin is even getting married. I mean how does this happen?
So as of today, my enlisting is in my recruiters hands. I did the test, I got the evaluation, it is up to him to get me in. I don't care what he does or who he talks to. I just need him to get me in. If not then like my dad said...
"hope for the best but expect the worst."

The longest day known to man

I went to meps yesterday. Anyone who has ever been enlisted or commissioned into any branch of the Armed forces whether it was for a ROTC schollarship or it was for the draft back in Nam' has their own story of this being the longest day known to man.
I wake up at 4 am, get ready and am downstairs within 5 minutes. I wait in a long line to eat powdered eggs and a piece of either over cooked or undercooked "sausage" but I rejoice because food is food and I hadn't had much of it the day before. Then I wait in another line to get on one of 2 charter busses. I'm just now started to realize that today will be more about waiting in line than anything else.
Once at meps, I get into a column and have 2 soldiers yelling at us. I think they forget that as of today, we are still civilians. There's not much they could do to us. What? Kick us out of meps, I'll just come back tomorrow.
We go through the whole check point and bag search phase and lock our bags into a locker. After that I go to wait in line. This is when a nurse asks for info from me. Then I go to take an eye exam which I get 20/20 vision and no colorblindness.
After that I go to wait in line, then do the urine sample, then another line to get blood drawn, then another to have an interview with a doctor. He asks questions and etc. I was told after this interview that I could slip on my hearing aids to cheat on the hearing test. Not by the doctor nor by my recruiter. Just a few other people I talked to about this. Do I do this? No, I am noble and know there are waivers for hearing loss.
So I go in to take the test and we find it that I sucked pretty bad at the test. I'm talking I got a 50 decimal range in a few spots. I took another and my hearing shifted pretty drastically. Parts where I did good the first time, I did bad in and parts where I did bad in the first time I did good in. I know I have bad hearing, I won't lie to you. But those tests aren't accurate. I know that. Because I hear much better than those tests show.
So then after that, I go through the whole flex tests and such. I get out at 11 and find that because of the hearing I am disqualified. For some reason the Sgt. who issued the test writes "not recommended waiver" when the only thing she is allowed to do is request me for another doctor interview. She was getting on my nerves, she kept saying that I have speech impairment and that I have a tube in my ear drum. I told her I didn't and it is probably genetic and she said that I'm lying and wrote me up for fraudulent enlistment. But I wasn't lying and the doctor proved it by scoping my ears. She probably just hates her job, being an E-5, she act like a drill sgt. She was spending more time complaining and yelling at people than actually doing her damn job. She knew nothing about the causes of hearing loss, it makes me wonder how she got stuck with working at MEPS... I mean who joins the military to work at meps? I think it's a punishment job.
Anyways, so after that I turn in the papers to the army command center at meps and they tell me to see an audiologist for a full evaluation and whatever the audiologist says will go. That is what I will be doing in about an hour. My recruiter has high hopes because my asvab score is so high. I also don't have any criminal history, or any other physical dissabilities. My job won't be on the front lines and *bing* I have heairing aids to wear to work. So hopefully I get that waiver before my ship out date. Oh and guess when that is. It's in 6 days. I need that waiver in 5 days from now. So if you crop out the weekend, I litterally have 3 days to get that waiver. Once I give my recruiter the letter of recomendation from the audiologist, it will be all him. He told me he could get it by Tuesday so lets see how this works out.
If not by wednesday, then I will miss my ship out date and have to wait untill late December, early January to ship. Which is a long long time from now. But on the bright side, I will be able to go to my cousins wedding. What do I do if they reject my waiver? Oh I go back to my hopes and dreams of finding a way to pay for school.
Note to self: start a flipping college fund for my kids before they are even born.
I'm serious, college is hard enough to get into, but have you seen how hard it is to pay for college? I want to write for a living, be a journalist and if that means I have to join the army and be all I can be then I will do it.
I'm excited either way, I think they have it all wrong though. Because it's not in the constitution that the army has to let you fight for america then they say being a soldier isn't a right, it's a privilage. Which is cool in some sense, but the constitution says it IS our GOD GIVEN right to fight for our freedom.
That's why John Adams, a lawyer and political figure, said "what makes a man a soldier? Is it his rifle? Is it his courage? Or is it the fact that he will protect his country and its freedom no matter what? In that, I think I am a soldier."
Which I agree with, too bad politicians don't care about that anymore. Just money and votes.
Why was MEPS the longest day ever? Because I was done at 11 AM and do you know what time I was allowed to leave the waiting room? 5 PM. In a hard chair with little sleep the night before for 6 hours. Not fun, but hey... it's meps and I will never have to go through all of that again... until I ship out.
-jeff

I've neglected to talk to...

Well, as it seems... no one.
It's been months and I am trapped in my own little world. I get distracted and have yet to customize and personalize this blogger. The truth is, I'm bound by my work and have little time to discuss my philosophies and politics on this thing.
So what is new? I leave to see my mom in 6 days. I couldn't be more excited. I miss mom. I miss her so much, the hardest year of my entire life I saw her for 3 days. It sucked but I couldn't take any time off work. But as it turns out, this is going to be a much harder year.
The only thing that separates this year from last is that I am ready for this year. I am a true champ. Securing financial aid was no easy task last week. My father told me to come home and try the army. I told him that I will not give up, If all I can pay for is tuition and book then I will live on the streets and work for food. Nothing is going to stand in my way this time.
As it turns out, I got the money I needed.
Chicago is fun, it is a great city. Every day I find something new to enjoy about it. Tonight was very cold though. The wind dropped it down to the 60s. That's cold where I come from for August.
Hmm, I'm taking Arabic for language arts this semester. That is cool. There are very many arabic people in Chicago. Not in Fayetteville, too many army guys down there. It'd be a bar fight waiting to happen.
I've changed alot since I last posted. Moving does that to a guy. Especially when he moves on his own to a city he knows nothing about with very little money. But I'm good. I miss a few friends. It's hard to find someone I can trust up here. I already have trust issues and trust absolutly no one in my family and very few people back at home. It's not like I don't love them. Just, there's so much history that I find it hard to trust people.
But there is someone I wish I was still friends with. I could use her advice right now. I really could. It has more to do with a paper I'm writing that me moving. But I guess it all comes down to there not being people I trust up here and doing a paper on summer of 06. I hate summer of 06.
-jeff