The date of my department of this town is coming near and I have to be bluntly honest with you . Something that I never type nor write to myself in honesty. But I want myself to look back at this entry in 4 years and remember exactly how intense I felt this emotion. It's not a vague emotion but very detailed to the core. I want to remember that I felt this emotion and kept moving the ball up the field anyways...

I'm shitting my pants in sweaty quaking fear.